Recently I got a car, but only yesterday I finally got insured so now I’m free to drive around on my own. Before, I was content to stay home and read the Bible all day. Quite literally. Or at least until I would pick up my little sister and then help her do her homework. Then I would read some more, watch some TV and it would pretty much cap my day. Until now, I’ve been to the library with my family once a week to rent books and to church on Friday and Sunday, and that’s been as much vitamin D I’ve been getting. Pitiful? Eh maybe. Uneventful? Mm arguably. But satisfying in its own right? Definitely. Because I knew I couldn’t drive and I was living to the extent of my life in the circumstances given to me. But the moment I was given free reins, in other words, today and yesterday, I dreaded staying home. It made me itch all over that I could be outside but I was inside reading. Even though I had no one to meet, I started looking up contacts to see if I could meet up with them. And I started looking on craigslist for things I wanted buy that I probably didn’t need. I wasn’t thinking of going to Best Buy because I needed something but rather thought of items in Best Buy that I could buy that would justify me going there. Just your average non-sensible hedonistic opportunist at work.
“Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”
-C.S. Lewis
